what a difference a catalog can make

i remember vividly the end of last winter. it was still cold out, but the thought of spring was already melting the ice. i had gone to get the mail from the mailbox. and there it was! confirmation!!! that, yes, indeed...spring was right around the corner. it was sitting there in all its glory. my hands couldnt wait to open it and touch all of the glossy pages. it was....

A CATALOG!

a SPRING catalog!

and even tho it certainly didnt feel like spring, i envisioned myself in a white sarongy, flowy thing..running on the beach. a deserted beach! my hair cascading in the wind. kind of like a woman in a vagisil or tampon ad. hayden and dan were behind me; decked out in matching spring sweaters. they were cable knit! they were cream colored! and they wore jeans rolled up with bare feet. willoughby was running in and out of the crashing waves; fetching sticks. it was sunrise. no, wait! maybe it was sunset. oh who cares? there was a sun involved!

ahhhhhh.

ok, back to reality.

i was outside freezing my ass off. and my fingers were too numb to breeze thru those glossy pages. and the scenario? although nice, the only thing "flowing" over the white "flowy" sarongy thing, would most likely be my flabby fat.

i dont really have any hair, so forget about the cascading part. unless of course you want to consider the 10 strands of hair on each side of my head.

i love the idea of dan and hayden so perfectly matched.

but in reality, dan would insist on wearing gym shoes.

with white tube socks.

and hayden? he would dress himself in one of his fine creations.

sweatpants, (of course)! maybe the green camouflage ones which are 2 sizes too small; and end about 4 inches above his ankles.

a t-shirt. probably dirty, and which again, is too small. like a cropped shirt, (a la britney, circa the 1990's).
lets complete the ensemble with his signature look...socks with sandals! and duh! he likes striped socks. 

pretty, right?!

and it doesnt end with the clothing visual.

willoughby? i love him. but hes a freak of a dog in desperate need of therapy. (just like his mother!) hed be scared of the waves. hed be shaking with fright. and hed be trying to run back to the car.

hayden would probably be torturing him and throwing sand.

id be trying to get the situation in control, but lose my patience, since i dont have much to begin with anyway. id get flustered and get all twisted up in my flowy sarong thing.

dan? dan would be mellow. and hed just laugh at me, saying, "hes only 4!" or "leave willoughby alone, hes just a dog! what do you expect?"

the sun? it wouldnt matter. because by the time i got my shit together...the sun would most likely be gone. and it would be dark. and id get anxiety about the dark and deserted beach. which is fine, because id start having panic attacks and want to leave anyway.

fast forward to today.
the mail. in the mailbox.

a CATALOG!
a FALL catalog!

the depression starts to hit and i immediately feel a chill in the air.

winter. snow. gray.

without a thought, i toss the catalog in the recycle bin.

hmmm.....

wait a minute.

i have a vision.

wouldnt it be so cute for all of us to wake up with matching pajamas and sip hot cocoa by the fireplace?!