a mid-summers night stroll

the other night i had a norman rockwell vision of taking a walk down the street with my dog, son and husband. just a nice, peaceful stroll. right? well...nope. first of all....my motto could be, "why walk if you can drive?" so to even suggest walking further than to the mailbox was kind of ambitious for me. so...we leave the house for our walk, but first were going to stop by my neighbors to drop off a watch she left at my house. dan and hayden go up to the door... and they dont come back! apparently hayden decided to do some singing and dancing performances for them. so not even 3 feet from the beginning of the walk...i lose my walking companions. so, i walk up the street...just me and willoughby. unfortunately, my dog is even more neurotic than i am...and doesnt want to walk. i cant blame him for this, really...because he probably inherited this trait from me. but still...what dog doesnt like to go out for walks?!?!? anyway...he tries to keep running back, and all im doing is pulling on him on getting wrapped around the leash, because hes doing circles around me. this goes on for about 10 minutes. after literally getting wrapped around a mailbox...(and stuck!), i decide that the purpose for this walk isnt being fulfilled. this doesnt happen in norman rockwell paintings! i unwrap myself from the mailbox pole, and see dan and hayden emerge from tom and claudias house. i guess my son was finished with his rendition of "B-I-N-G-O" and performance of jumping jacks. dan drops off my freaky dog at home, and we decide to continue with our walking plan. by now its darker out, and im getting bitten by mosquitoes. fun! we head down the street, but see no neighbors outside, so the whole "americana" vision of walking by and waving to people isnt really happening. hayden is on the bike, off the bike, on the bike, off the bike. but he decides to stop and pick some flowers for me, (or should i say...weeds), so this actually works for my perfect norman rockwell scenario. then we see a bunny. so sweet, right? so i whisper to hayden..."look at the bunny...hes eating in the grass...shhhhh lets watch him" hayden gets off the bike, (again), runs in the grass....bunny hops away. but hayden is determined to find him. "bunny...where aaaare you?" we let him try to find the bunny, and just kind of hang out in the street. i notice a bunch of cars drive up to one of our neighbors house. obviously theyre having some sort of get-together. i start to wonder out loud why we arent invited! hmmmmm. anyway...i digress. so we finally get hayden back on his bike, and start to head home from our 10 foot walk. hayden gets off bike, (again), to run in a puddle. well...hayden has a weird thing about his feet. he is very particular about them, and what shoes he wears, and woodchips cant touch them...et cetera. he starts to cry, "my feet are wet! i dont like my feet wet!" dan asks him why he jumped in the puddle if he didnt like his feet wet. we also explain that hes wearing crocs, and theyre supposed to get wet...theyre water shoes! yeah...try to reason with a 3 year old. been there, done that...doesnt work! so he takes his shoes off even tho we tell him he needs them on to walk home. but no go. doesnt really matter, because we only walked about 3 houses distance anyway. so...we get home, and of course his feet are now muddy. "AHHHH!!!! i need to wash my feet! theyre diiiiirty!!!!" ugh. anyway.... that was my big venture out for a nice family stroll. my dad says its a good idea to take a family walk to relieve stress and find peace. um...yeah right. if you consider relieving stress by needing to go home to calm myself by deep breathing and taking xanax; then yeah...i guess id consider it a successful mission. (okay...i made the xanax part up....but it did lend for the opportunity to use creative artistic license). the next time i consider a leisurely relaxing night, i think ill remember my "motto", and take a spin in the car, by myself, for a 20 foot drive. not exactly norman rockwell, but then again...my life is hardly anything like it anyway!!!