sometimes, i actually think!

i had chemo yesterday, and when i got back from "the office", i had a lot of energy. its because of the steroids i get before my treatment. anyway...i decided to work in my garden. i find it a good time to just think to myself. so these were my totally random thoughts...

random thought #1- "i gave birth to eddie haskell!"
my dad watched hayden while i was at chemo with dan. they went to the park, and then to lunch at "whistle stop", because thats where hay wanted to go. my dad gave me the full report. he was a complete and perfect angel. he sat at the restaurant and behaved the whole time. they had conversations. blah, blah, blah. i asked my dad, "did he scream at the top of his lungs? did he jump up and down on the seat? did he spit at you? did he bite you? did he throw food all over the table or floor?" you know...his new favorite things to do on public excursions. "no", said my dad, "i dont know what youre talking about! hes a great kid and very well behaved!" well...yes...he IS a great kid, and he CAN be very well behaved. he was perfect every day of his 2nd year. but then he turned 3. i love the kid. A LOT! but ill tell ya....he knows how to piss me off, hes good at it, and he enjoys doing it. "look daddie! im making mommie mad! heee heee hee." i know...hes 3. its a game. but i see how he works. hes generally great with everybody. but for some reason...he likes to harrass me. most of the time...people dont see this. they see cute, sweet and adorable hayden. i guess the good thing about this...is that he can turn on the charm with other people. thats a good trait to have, right? it worked for eddie haskell. maybe itll do something for him later on in life. i just hope hes not 35 years old, and still jumping on tables and throwing foods in restaurants. and while were at it...i also hope hes potty trained.

random thought #2- "weeds are just like cancer"
it doesnt matter what you do. you can pick the weeds. you can spray the weeds. but theyre annoying, and they always keep on coming back and growing. just like cancer.

random thought #3-"i still need a vacation. wheres the nearest lazy river?"
everybody has fantasies. money, sex, whatever. my fantasy involves a lazy river and a tube. when people go on honeymoons, they usually want to go someplace romantic or secluded. not us. we went to hawaii, but instead of chosing a more "adult friendly" and quiet resort, we chose the "kid friendly" hotel with a water park instead. dan and i spent many hours floating down the lazy river. it was heaven. i really need a lazy river right now!

random thought #4- "did my dad actually tell me that i should rest?"
my family doesnt know the meaning of "rest". especially my dad. hes go go go. always going! im not even sure where the hell hes going....but hes going. when i was growing up....there was nothing i liked to do more than "rest". it bugged the shit out of my parents. i had very few rules growing up, and i had a lot of freedom. i didnt need many rules, and my parents will be the first to tell you that i was a really good kid. (because i was!) but in high school, i remember vividly having two rules. the first rule was that every day, i needed to either watch the news, or read the newspaper. BORING! i chose to watch the news. it took less energy to sit on the couch, than it did to turn the pages of the newspaper. im still not a fan of the news. when they have something good to report...maybe ill start watching it. until then...who needs to be depressed? anyway...the second rule, was that on the weekends, i needed to be out of my bed, and out of the house at a reasonable morning AM hour. i wasnt allowed to mope inside. they didnt care what i did...as long as i did SOMETHING! i remember most of my time was spent at the mall, or at tally hall. whatever. so...the other day, as i was sweating and picking weeds, my dad said, "you should really relax and get some rest". i almost dropped my clippers and watering pail right then and there. 'did my dad actually tell me i should REST?' holy shit. thats weird. does he feel ok? i mean...i know i just had chemo, but thats still weird! rest?!?! my parents wanted me to rest?!?!? so i eventually did, because my parents are always right. at least thats what they tell me. but i didnt watch the news. i found my stupid reality shows to be way more entertaining and less depressing. and i think that as dumb as denise richards is; that i still learn more from her than i do from george bush.

so...those were some random thoughts. i know. my mind is sort of schizophrenic.