sleeping with the enemy

willoughby and i have been together since he was 4 months old. he truly was my "first baby". (he still is!) and the two of us lived together in a little brentwood apartment in los angeles. it didnt even have air conditioning, but i wound up installing a unit, so willoughby wouldnt be so hot in the summers. he came everywhere with me. in LA....its not a problem to go places with your dog. so he went everywhere from the gap to neiman marcus to barneys. he even sometimes came to work with me. (that is.... until he bit the ups guy!) so....suffice to say, i was never going to ignore him once we added on to our family. first with dan and his two cats. then with hayden.

since the day we brought hayden home from the hospital, willoughby was cautiously curious of him. and regardless of his jealousy, he was never too far away from baby hayden. he always slept next to him. (despite my mothers attempts to bar this behavior. she had paranoid thoughts of willoughby possibly attacking him. she also thought my 5 pound cat, who is afraid of her own tail...would suffocate him in his crib! yeah...we know shes crazy.) anyway...when hayden would cry, willoughby would get upset. he was very protective of hayden. then hayden started growing, and using willoughby as a toy. he sort of just "tolerated" hayden as he pulled on his ears and tail. their relationship changed, and continues to change.

so its been 3 1/2 years since willoughby met hayden, on that night we put his little baby carrier in front of him. he is still somewhat intrigued by haydens "doings", but generally steers clear of his advances. willoughby is still growling at him. as a matter of fact, all hayden has to do now is just look in willoughbys direction, and hell automatically growl at him. i call it a "love growl", because i know he would never hurt hayden. the other thing that remains the same, is the sleeping arrangements in the house. during slumbering hours, willoughby is always right where hayden is. i used to think it was because he just liked haydens blanket. but i soon realized that no matter where hayden was sleeping...be it the sofa, floor, my room, his bed...wherever; was where willoughby plopped down.

so why am i boring you with stories about where my dog sleeps? well...i dont know! i just really like how my dog pretends to dislike my kid, but secretly really loves him. its always been a bit of a "love/hate" relationship. when i have a chance...i might blog about the relationship between my dog and my two cats. why? i dont know....just cuz!

*note: these are the kind of things you blog about when youre stuck at home all day and stir-crazy with a sick kid. :(

random morning "lori thoughts"

1- i think im going to get a job as a weather-person on the news. ill have some kookie name, like 'susie sunshine', "lori lightning' or 'dallas raines', (oops...that one is already taken); and ill have a year round orange perma-tan. ill do a newscast saying there will be a huuuge snowstorm starting at 1am. then you wake up at at 4:30 and the streets look as clear as they do on a hot summers day; so i start my newscast saying "mother nature...blah blah blah....tricked us again....blah blah." and when if it eventually snows, (which it will), ...ill say, "see...there comes the snow!!!!....it was just delayed!"...(or some other version of that.) i could tooootally do this job. and i think it would be fun. until then...ill go get my kids stuff ready for school, because you dont have snow days without snow.

2- house foreclosures. the economy sucks, and you drive by all of these empty and forlorn foreclosed homes. its so sad. the homes look sad; as if they miss their owners. i wonder..."where did these people all move to?" they have to be somewhere and it costs money to be somewhere. so heres my thinking. why not just let the people live in their home? i mean...its sitting there empty anyway, and the homes look sad and unkempt. if people were living there, at least the homes would look nicer if someone wanted to come and buy it. why should people have to suffer on the "street" somewhere, if there is a perfectly good house just sitting vacant! and its theirs!!!  (by the way...i feel this way about the airlines too....with empty seats in first class) :) this sounds like a great plan to me. it actually seems like a total no-brainer; (which is most likely why i came up with this thought in the first place.) the only thing i cant work out...is how to deal with the electric/heating/house maintenance stuff. i dont think those could be comped, and unless you live in hawaii...you will most likey need heating or air. any ideas anyone????

3-i was in the hospital yesterday. routine treatment...and i repeat...ROUTINE TREATMENT!!!!! (i made the mistake of posting that i was on my way to the hopsital....and all pandemonium broke loose! but thanx for caring guys!!!:)) so instead of discussing all of the medical crap i was there to do, i decided to chat with my allergist about services they should offer in hospital rooms. you know...mani/pedis, massages. etc. serioulsy...youre there all day anyway, and why not check off some beauty things you need to get done while sitting there? i think its brilliant. serioulsy...totally brilliant. anyone out there who wants to make some bucks? start this business!!!! people. will. do. it. kind of like if you build a baseball field in the middle of an iowa field. if you build it. they will come. (tho to this day...im not really sure why all of those cars did drive to the baseball field in 'field of dreams' in the middle of nowhere. i would sooooo rather get beauty services at the hospital!) anyway....i think the discussion with my allergist went well. i think he agreed or at least saw some good points, because our discussion was like, 10 minutes. either that...or he was thinking, "who is this kook, and why is she wasting 10 minutes of my time that i need to spend on my other patients?!?!?) hmmm....id like to think that we were on to a new business. anyway.....if i have time, i will post more about my hospital experience later! :) 

till then....happy 'non-snow day', signing out...

"latitude lori"

how i would fix the worlds financial mess

some things just seem sooooo easy! like for example....the financial mess america is in. it shouldnt be so hard to solve. first off all...dont spend money you dont have. secondly.... be realistic. does the goverment really need 24 karat gold toliets? i cant remember where i saw that, but i remember seeing a show where the government was installing some really ridiculous and expensive gold toilets. do they really need that expensive shit? (literally!!!!) and lastly...if you do get into a financial downfall...then fix it!

its been a long time since american currency has been backed by gold. so this basically means, that the government pretty much randomly prints money. so...why dont they just print more? its only paper! print what the debt is...and pay it. whats the difference? dan explained that if this was done, than the value of the dollar would go down. but why? i asked my dad. he couldnt really explain it, because he didnt really know. and how would anyone know if they did print more? how would the value go down, if nobody knew more was printed? nobody knows where the money comes from anyway. i want to say that i understand why the government cant just print money; because there has to be a reason why it cant be that simple. but really and truly... i dont. i just dont! why cant it be that simple?

sometimes i wonder how i can let all of this intelligence go to waste. i really should be president. i could so easily fix the world.

the stoopid things people say

i guess some people dont know what to say to you when you have cancer. im pretty open about it. there is nothing you couldnt say to me or ask me. in general; i dont get offended easily. i can joke about my situation. i also realize that not everybody is like that. many people are very serious. which...lets be honest....is totally understandable. but since i am an open book, i suppose i leave myself open for people to walk on in. but sometimes i really have to wonder about some people. are they clueless? do they say inappropriate things because they dont know what to say? or...are they just stupid?

i really should be keeping better track of these these, because some of them are just too good to forget. here is just a sampling....

a few weeks ago at chemo, i started talking to a lady and her mother who were sitting next to me. we talked about the stupid ass auto executives who flew their private jets out to beg and plead for money. i proceed to tell her how lame i think it is to do that when people are suffering and losing jobs, houses, etc... so...she says to me, (not having a clue where i live), "yeah...those people sit in their houses in ______(insert town where i grew up),  and dont really care." (or something to that extent). well...at this point, im kind of speechless. so i just say..."uh...errr...ummm...im out of this conversation." (and just for the record, those high paid executives? they aint living in that town.) so i change the subject. i asked what kind of cancer her mom has. lung cancer. yes...i suppose its a "bad" kind of cancer to have, as opposed to some other kinds. but as usual..i try to find something positive and inspiring to say. and there are lots of positive stories. so i say, " ya know, the guy who was just sitting next to me has stage 4 lung cancer. and hes doing great...hes in remission!" im not making this up. its true, and people always like to hear a good story when theyre sitting in a chemo chair. so she says to me, (totally not knowing what kind of cancer i have), "well...lung cancer...pancreatic cancer.... those are scary ones. the ones you dont want to have" and then she says as almost an afterthought, "and ovarian cancer. thats another bad kind of cancer to have." um...hello? i have ovarian cancer! i would never tell her that...(of course, unless she asked), because i wouldnt want to make her feel bad. or dumb! which quite frankly...she kinda sorta is. i just looked over at my dad...and he was just sort of looking away with a certain "look" on his face. the same look he had when she mentioned the town i grew up in. (which also by the way....is NOT where i live now. at least not exactly.)

the following week, i was in the same chair, but sitting next to a different lady, and i was with dan this time. i decided, (as i always do...yet fail to follow thru with), that this time i wasnt going to speak to anyone. and i didnt! but it didnt stop the lady next to me from listening to my conversation, and putting her two cents in. dan and i were discussing the port i was contemplating getting, to use for chemo. (a port is something they surgically put under your skin, which goes into a vein. its used to make it easier on the veins. the particular kind of drug we were considering, makes it necessary to use with a port.) so she says to dan, "dont get a port! i cant even use mine...its too painful!" well..ive had a port. it isnt painful to use. i had a problem with a blood clot and thats why it was removed. but what if i hadnt had a port before? and what if it wasnt an option, but a necessity for me to get one? and what if i was a newly diagnosed cancer patient, and actually listened to these people and decided to freak out about it? the thing is...im not a new cancer patient. so i very nicely gave her some info...that all she needed to do, was put a prescription cream on it to numb it, and she wouldnt feel a thing. so...ok...shes not the brightest bulb in the pack. so i continue my conversation with dan. only now...i am showing him the paper i get at this office, which shows my scheduled appointments. and on there...i notice it says, "ovarian cancer" and on the line below it, says "depression". i tell this to dan. im laughing, and i say, "depression? id say im pretty far from being depressed. maybe i should be depressed...but im not." to which this lady next to us says, (and i kid you not), "oh...you will be. trust me. i cried all morning and all the way over here." (!!!!!) ok...granted...i would be happier at disneyland than i would be sitting in a chemo room, and yes, i can see where people get depressed...and everyone has their ups and downs. BUT...i honestly think ive handled everything positively and been, for the most part, optimistic and upbeat. for example....i would never make a comment like that. i would try to say something positive to the person. dumb, dumb, dumb. really!...what a stupid thing to say to someone. but then she went on to tell us about her daughter who stole her car and she smacked her, etc...etc...etc.. and i realized...ok...cant really put too much merit in this whackadoodle.

but my favorite story, by far, is a comment that was made a few years ago. it will definitely be put in my book...just as soon as i get around to writing it. my mom and i saw a family friend in a parking lot and this person asked how i was doing. my response was, "really great....im in remission!" this persons response, was "oh...well...itll come back. it always does." for reals! this was the comment! my mom was pissed. me? i laughed. i just cant take comments like that seriously. dumb? yes! but truly....i happen to like this person and i know they like me. it wasnt said maliciously. i know they care about me. but yes...regardless....it was a stupid thing to say.

these are just some things that stick out in my mind. of course there are always the basics...when people say, "oh yeah...my (mom, sister, friend, aunts hairdresser, friends husbands mistress...whomever...) had ovarian cancer. she died". i get that a lot. (way to pep someone up!!! ) so...i dont let these comments phase me. i know people dont mean any harm by it. i sometimes think that people just dont know what to say. and of course there are the people who say, "ya know....i know someone who had stage 4 ovarian cancer and was only given 3 months to live...and that was 23 years ago." so not everybody is ignorant or negative, or just plain stupid. and serioulsy....dont you kinda sorta find a little bit of humor in it??

question: what do me and my dog have in common?

answer:

-were both sweet
-were both neurotic
-were both sick...
...which makes us...
-both expensive

(to all of you non-animal lovers....you can stop reading right now. because you just wont "get it". you just wont.)

i think pretty much everyone knows how i feel about my dog. i love him. i adore him. id give him a kidney if he needed it. he is such an integral part of me. sounds weird, because hes a dog; but its true. before i had dan and hayden...it was just me and willoughby, out in LA. hes been with me thru many phases, and has helped me thru so many things. hes 13. the same age as my niece, who just had her bat mitzvah. when you compare it to a human life...its easier to see just how long weve been together.

one of the things he has seen me thru, is my cancer ordeal. literally being by my side the whole time. so...how can i let him down when hes sick and needs help? it seems like yesterday that i got him. he was 4 months old. but hes 13 now. and i worry about him. every day. ev-err-ee day. i really cant imagine not having him by my side. i know not all people treat their animals like we do ours. most people dont treat their friends and family as well as we treat our pets. and i also realize that most people cant afford to spend the kind of money that we spend on our pets' medical bills. im not saying were financially better off than you, or "hey! were rich, rich, rich!" all im saying; is that if it came down to it...wed choose to spend money on our animals, than...lets say......restaurants or buying clothes or fancy cars or traveling. if i couldnt afford the vet bills...id still do it, and just put the tab on a credit card. im not saying its smart...but its what id do. anyway.....

willoughby has been sick for some time, but has been managed with a special diet and expensive medications. he was hospitalized this past summer with pancreatitus and a gall bladder stone. so, a few days ago, when he wasnt eating, shaking uncontrollably and lethargic...we immediately took him back to the hospital. and hes been there ever since.

now...let me tell you about this hospital. ive seen and been in, my fair share of hospitals. and id be thrilled if any of them compared to the one my dog is in. i feel very confident putting my dog in their hands. but it isnt cheap. with 24 hour care and a plethora of tests he is going thru....it better be top notch! so...hes had a bunch of tests. a bunch. his white blood cell count is really low. but all of the other tests? theyre all normal. which is good. but its also stumping the medical team; because hes really sick. what is causing him to be so sick? they really cant figure it out. hes on IV fluids and antibiotics. hes way too skinny. he wouldnt eat, but after they gave him an appetite stimulant, he started to eat. hes getting nupogen shots, which is a human medicine that raises white blood cell counts. ironically, its the same shot i used to get after my chemo treatments. but if that doesnt work? the only thing left to do is a bone marrow biopsy; because it could be canine leukemia. but they dont even think its that, since his blood work was totally normal 4 days earlier. it is a possibility that it is a weird virus he picked up. tho i cant imagine where!!! this just may be a case for that tv show 'mystery diagnosis", or "house"

so why am i boring you with this? well...i know its not my normal wacky, yet entertaining psycho babble. but i just felt that willoughby deserved a special shout out. we miss him so much and want him home. my bed isnt the same without him cuddling in a ball at the end of it. i even miss him peeing on the carpet.

the picture above was our visit from last night. as sad as he looks here, he looks so much better than he did when we brought him in. we just came home from seeing him tonite...and he looks even better now! he almost seems like himself. we went for a walk, he ate and drank..and even looked happy to see hayden! hopefully hell be home soon.

p.s. i know that my title isnt written in proper english; but "me and my dog" sounds better than "my dog and i". :)

OMG!!! are you kidding me?

its no secret that i wanted a baby girl. not because i like one sex over the other....its just that i dont really know "boy stuff", like cars and trucks and decorating with the color blue. obviously...i love my kid, and wouldnt have him any other way. i just have to pretend i dont see all of the cute girl clothes and accessories when i go clothing shopping for him. also...i have to keep in mind how much money im saving on all  of those really cute and ridiculously expensive frou frou dresses.

anyway...

the other day i was browsing thru some kids catalogs, trying to figure out holiday gifts.

omg! i passed the barbie section. something im sure ive done a million times before; only this time...i looked at it! i cannot even believe the stuff i saw. i know i sound like an old lady and suuuch a mother...BUT jeez! 

the first thing i noticed was "showgirl" barbie. ok...really? showgirl barbie? what mother wants their little girl to play with a showgirl barbie? all i think about when i see that...is the movie "showgirls". now that is something to aspire to. 

then theres beverly hills "juicy couture" barbie. not awful...i mean...i dont think its the best example to show little girls, but i dont see any serious damage being done here. i suppose its better than "detroit ghetto" barbie. i do like beverly hills, the dolls are wearing clothes, and juicy couture is ok. i used to live there...and yeah...ok....a lot of the people do like like that in beverly hills. extra points for a realistic replica of the dolls. but i wonder, do we want our little kids growing up thinking that were supposed to look like this? to get plastic surgery and move to beverly hills? i guess i shouldnt talk. i did. but i didnt really dress like this. i was more "down and out in beverly hills" barbie.

how bout "vera wang" barbie?  again,..nothing too vile. i tried on lots of vera wang dresses when picking out my wedding dress. but what i found disturbing about vera wang barbie; is that she costs almost as much as a vera wang dress. and...i dont know...something about it just wanted to make me puke. im not even sure why. i just think its ridiculous. i had to wait over 30 years to get a vera wang dress. so maybe i think its weird for a 5 year old to have one. (ok...well...i didnt chose the vera wang...but you get the idea...)

the best one i saw.....which was actually at the store, was "hot tub party bus" barbie. yeah...i know. i felt the same. i think im throwing up again. some hot shot executives at mattel all sat around at a board meeting, and decided that a good role model to present to the future women of america, is "hot tub party bus barbie". they thought that all toddlers needed to play with a bunch of skanky, bikini-clad  barbies in a hot tub.  yeah. try explaining to the girls why ken is more interested in the pool boy than his girlfriend, barbie. and does the set come complete with coors beer cans? 

and how bout "srtripper/slut" barbie. shes expensive, but actually has working "orifices", and comes with a prescription for herpes meds.  ok....no...im kidding. there isnt a stripper/slut barbie...duh! its not out yet. i hear its coming out for holiday 2009. the parents are all clamoring to get on the waiting list so their little angel will have the newest and greatest barbie yet. 

so....as i scoured the barbie pages, i actually felt lucky that i had a boy. i cant even believe that i think guns and "blow em up" toys just may be setting a better example than these barbies. i find it horrifying. and im not prissy, uptight or strict. i look forward to go shopping for my son, and walking right past the "pink" section. at least the boys section doesnt make me vomit!