e=mc2, but doesnt e also=E! ???

if youd ask my dad or my friend peter, (aka my favorite medical guru), or my husband or some other smart person what "e" equals, theyll probably tell you that it equals the above equation or some other form of it. if you ask me what "e" equals....ill tell you its channel 56 on my cable box. the E! entertainment channel...the news source for everything entertainment!

i was an art major in college. why? i dunno. it was the only thing i knew how to do. i sucked at math and science in high school. it never made sense to me. to this day, i have no idea why it matters if train "a" or "b" gets to point '"c" faster, if you take route "d". seriously...cant you just ask the amtrak people? so many more important things to learn about...but, whatever. so...my brain never really grasped these concepts, regardless of the thousands of dollars my parents shelled out on tutors. i did however excel in geometry. i loved my compass and protractor, and made really beautiful pies and graphs and angles. seriously. i did! when i got to college, everybody, regardless of their major, had to take the basics, like economics and history and criminal justice. needless to say, i sucked at economics. really sucked. didnt get it one bit. all i knew about economics, was that if you had money....then go spend it. or save it for a rainy day....and then do a rain dance and pray for rain. when it rained? go to the mall! i was thrilled, and i mean thrilled to get a "d" in economics. it meant i passed! it was celebration time....go out and shop!

so when my dad basically grovelled and begged for me to change my art major to a business major....i was in a dilemma. to get in to the business school, you needed math classes. ive always wanted to make my parents happy. i understood the benefits of having a business degree. but it was total foreign territory for me. but i tried. i did! i dont think my parents ever believed me; but i did. i got my funky, doc marten, striped knee socks, pouf skirt, kooky-assed outfitted self, over to the very grey and khaki infested business side of campus, and i signed up for math class. but first i had to take a math test to even get in. needless to say... i didnt pass the math test to even get into the math class. so i took a class, to learn basic math...for no credit! and this is how it worked. you had a lesson for a week, and at the end of the week, you took a math test. if you passed, great! if you didnt...you would take the next weeks lesson; take that test at the end of the week...ALONG with the previous test you failed. lovely. i tried. i did! but i never passed any tests. and remember....after a month or so of this class...all i was doing was taking tests. by the time i got to taking, like, 6 tests a week, i wasnt sure if i should laugh or cry. i probably did both. i was a math moron. but i wasnt a total moron. i wasnt even getting credit. i got my ass outta there. yup...left the boring, pocket protector sea of grey crowd, and marched myself back to the art school; fishing box full of art supplies in hand, and joined my people. and 5 years later, (yeah,...you heard me correctly...5!) i was the proud recipient of an art degree. and as my dad predicted he would be...he was the unfortunate recipient of a daughter on his payroll for the next 10...(um, ok...maybe 15) years. actually...looking back...it doesnt seem that dumb at all. thanx dad! :) love ya! (ill eventually finish that painting for you that i started 20 years ago too)

so where was i? oh yeah....back from memory lane. the good ole days. anyway...my point, which is taking a long time to get to...is that, the things that people think make you smart...dont necessarily make you a smart person. i am a very intelligent, articulate, well rounded, (ok....maybe not totally well rounded...more like a little bit oval or squished a bit...but almost a full circle), inquisitive and free thinking person. put me in a room with almost anyone...and im good to go. yeah, sure...sometimes people look at me funny and wonder where the hell i came up with some of my thoughts. i can see a bubble over their head with a "hmmmm????" in it. but im used to that. and many times...they cant answer my questions or thoughts. things which are sooo complicated, but in a way soooo simple.

my most recent example:
last night at dinner, discussing the economic crisis and how nobody has money. i know im gonna hear comments from dan that the conversation wasnt exactly like this...but its kinda the general gist.
(* the blah blah blahs are basic non-scripted filler words which i probably wasnt listening to anyway...)

me: "so nobody has money. poor people, rich people, millionaires, billionaires...nobody has money left"

dan: "no! its really bad. blah blah blah. a depression...worst time ever, blah blah blah..."

me: "then where is all of the money?"

dad: "the banks cant lend money...blah blah blah...because they dont even have the money; people are not making the payments to the bank. blah blah blah"

me: "ok...i get it. but where is the money?"

dan: "its gone. its nowhere."

me: "it cant be nowhere! if no one has it...where did it go?"

dad: "lets say someone wants to build a property. they borrow money from the bank to pay the builders, etc. they sell it and get the cash. they make payments to the bank, or cant pay the bank back...blah blah blah...or they re-invest it....blah blah blah"

me: "so either the bank has the money back, or the people that owe the bank the money have the money, or the contractors who were given the money to do the job in the first place have the money. someone has the money, right?!""

dad: "well....errr....not really, because they might have re-invested it...blah blah blah"

me: "ok. lets say you have 100 $1 bills. wherever you go, whatever you spend, those physical 100 $1 bills are physically somewhere in the physical universe"

dan: "americans lives on credit. america is based and runs on credit...blah blah blah..."

me: "ok...the money has to be physically somewhere be someplace...but then if nobody really knows where the money is, why cant they just print more...since nobody can tell where the money is anyway...and nobody has it?"

dan and dad: "lots of blah blah blahs....i cant really explain it.....maybe someone can explain it better.....blah blah blah...its complicated....blah"

ok...i guess it is complicated. but isnt it also really simple. if nobody has money right now...where is it??? why arent more people worried about this, rather than train "a" or "b" getting to location "c" the fastest? and why cant those smart business school people figure it out? how come they passed all of those math tests?maybe their grey clothes and khaki pants are stifling their thought process. (?!?!) if you can tell me where the money is....enlighten me. but with no blah...blah...blahs, please!

the conversation continued....but not so much about money. we were discussing how people are losing their houses. they cant make payments. a family who was once living in a 4,500 square foot house is now living in a storage closet; which is smaller than the closet which held their clothes in their previous house.

me: "so...they lost their house because they cant pay the bank back"

mom: "yeah"

me: " so their house, along with many others which were foreclosed on, are sitting totally vacant. thats stupid"

dad: "its not stupid.....the bank needs their money back. theyre the ones who lost the money in the deal. they need to collect"

me: "i totally get it. im not dumb! duh! but the house is vacant. the people arent making payments. but its sitting empty and not collecting money either. why cant they just live there? the bank isnt collecting money with or without them in the house. they may as well have a place to live!"

dan: "the banks dont care. its a business. its all about the money"

me: "but that doesnt make sense either from a business standpoint. they arent collecting money either way. why should they live in a storage closet when there is a perfectly fine house sitting empty? why cant they live there until the house sells, (which is unlikely now anyway). the house looks better to potential buyers anyway when its occupied. from a humanistic point alone...i just dont get it."

dan: "well then everyone would want to do that! why should i pay my mortgage if i could just live for free...blah blah blah...or pay taxes...blah blah blah"

me: "but fortunately, we are able to do so. why cant we all accept and be thankful for that and not be greedy...and help out our fellow citizens in a time of need?"

dan: "the world doesnt work like that"

(more blah blah blahs, head shaking, those weird clueless looking stares at me, bubble clouds over their heads with "!!!" in them)

me: "well...it should. people are just too damn selfish. all i know...is that if i owned the bank...id let them live there"
(this is evidenced by the animals we collect. and i dont think dan would be surprised if he came home one day to have a homeless family living with us either.)

and just for the record....
those crazy art majors? they are the ones making the world more beautiful. theyre the ones doing yoga and meditation and finding their inner peace in a crazy, non peaceful world. dont knock it til you try it.

i told you i was smart!
:)